This is where it all started — the very first episode of Testimony Through Tears.
When you lose a child to suicide, the first days and weeks are a blur of shock. People are around, meals show up, and your heart is just trying to survive the next hour. But then the shock starts to wear off… and the questions move in like they own the place.
Why? What did I miss? Could I have stopped it? Where was God?
Sweet mom, I want you to hear this clearly: God is not afraid of your questions. He is not shocked by your shock, and He is not disappointed that you don’t have tidy faith right now. The Psalms are full of God’s people asking Him the hard things — “How long, O Lord?” is practically a worship song (Psalm 13:1, ESV).
In this episode, I open up about those early days of questions and where I found solid ground when nothing made sense. If you’re in that season right now, pull up a chair. You’re not alone, and you’re not doing grief wrong.
Listen to the episode:
Go Deeper with the Companion Guide
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If this episode spoke to your heart, share it with a mom who needs to hear she’s not alone. And if the questions feel too heavy to carry by yourself, please reach out — to your pastor, a trusted friend, or a counselor. If you’re in the U.S. or Canada and in crisis, you can call or text 988 any time, day or night.
